Author Archives: martinoregan

It comes naturally

It comes naturally

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The giant drill bit seering the muddied earth
A choir of angels in tow with every twist
The coil resounding the voices aligned
Till the foreman’s call brings silence.
Then the majorettes come-screeching
Whining? Marching?
Tap-dancing a tattoo?
From a whisper to a roar
Though not yet a low flying jet.
Is it Paddy’s day? New York?
Is spontaneous celebration the order of the day?
Surely not! And then-
Then two workmen appear…
Pushing three lockers on wheels
Grim faces hiding, like the shut doors,
What’s really going on inside.

Le Petit Esprit

Le Petit Esprit

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A broader understanding spilt through the cracks
Poured through,
Pored over
But initially, accidentally
I opened up, my brother
Or at least found reason
And now sit-
A yesterpast-
Less vacant
More fulfilled
More enlightened
But less alive.
The numb-drum moments our debauchery
Inclined us to graves -pre-humously-
Inclining us to states debilitating…
Yet invigorating.
For was it not today in the half death
(Not the Petit Mort)
That I did not waver.
I stood profound
And let the criticism wash over me:
Not insulted- but defined.

Olay Ulay Down

Olay Ulay Down

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The flesh attacks itself and in so doing, the mind
But the mind itself attacks prevailing over discourse-
The mind itself runs riot creating possibilities
And those self-same eventualities arise in the broken flesh.
My body is the sum total of misdeeds and misthinkings
Of a fight externally bound, as well as internal.
No man is an island and even where he makes it
The mind itself constructs the tidal wave that breaks it.
The shattered illusion of independence, of an individuality
Lies forlorn, abandoned, once the mind erupts.
The vacant words however hollowly expressed,
Ring beyond their definitions – spell of madness.
And so the flesh upon itself does pounce
But because the mind’s its cruel master,
And so intent on its determination…
But sometimes its merely degeneration.

From the gutter, sky!

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My soul intoxicated by the vestiges of emptiness,
I let my breath, my fear, evolve into the detriment –
that well-defined entanglement of love
And desperate, all-embracing, drunkeness.
I felt the pang of guilt, my memory,
the thirst for lust, my psychology,
and my harboured sense of what was once a duty, now a chore.
For I had once assumed authority,
the one who’d travelled far and wide,
But now I felt myself inadequate:
The memory fades but not the pride.
And so in empty quarters of my soul
I chose to redefine myself as whole
And in attempt I felt my sanity,
though ironically yet not my vanity
Till finally I lost not Just my mind…
But Everything

Xeno

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A reflection…a desperation

drunk eyes try and try

a conversation short

but much too long

twas not the coin this time

nor the dice…

did the latter clarify?

Where too much choice erodes

I saw the one way and felt good,

or not, but made my decision.

Now in his way

there is another choice, a reason

I will not make excuses

but I think I’ve known what’s best!

 

The homecoming

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The snow upon the skin
The blood upon the lips
The hope upon the breast
Leaves the whole unblemished.
The fire in the fall
The twirling, swirling, be it all
The dream erecting in the flow
The eloquence comes calling.
Till slur and birch, the guilt residing,
Sends home again all utter vagrants.

Selling out or taken in

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Sometimes I write terribly he said
You never do I assure you
But of course I do as everybody does
No actually nobody does
Well what do you call this then? Will I read it for you?
Don’t bother I’ve read it, and while I don’t like it I believe others could.
You’re mad!
Says you with your generalizations
What!?
Well you claim to know everybody’s mind
Indeed I do not
Then why do you proclaim your writing shit
I said I write terribly but anyway, because I know it’s so.
You know you don’t like it is what you mean.
Yeah… And…
But who are you to judge?
Surely I’m the best judge
Hah! And why is that?
Because it’s me who’s written it.
True, but is it you who buys it, reads it, criticises it and comes back for more?
No, but…
No, and therefore… Shut up!

I find being

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I find myself wholly aligned to the madness of my soul
To the ritualistic incantations of my being.
The sacrificial plunder which, set up, seeps forth from beneath the veil
Rendering action, in an impulse – inconsequential.
The dreams, my dreams, a furtive, sporadic necessity
Build blood to pulse against the
Boundaries of my reason.
My eyes strain hard against the membrane
The mind unscalable,
The truth unattainable.
I wander with the vestiges of my inner desires
Crippled by the need to relieve the rage.
The savagery, the decadence
Of my human condition,
Fails me and in that final thrust I

Cannot see anything, anymore.

The furrowed brow alights

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The brow furrowed – it’s hard to hide the turmoil, the head, the neck, strained.
The eyes set in motion.
Sitting to wonder, and wondering of a fallibility (perhaps mine).
The fealty I require is digging in the dirt.
Beyond the crest of my imagination,
Flung short of reason, the desire builds,
The relative truth, the drawn necessity,
The thinly veiled delights begin to terrify.
The mortal being shudders in a wreck-lessness :
There is a tortured line between fear and thrill.
The fencing off only renders further eruptions
And devastation has its way of becoming arrogant.
In the beguiling aftermath of foiled temptation
Or the loss of control by any other hand.
There is a fragrant air of anticipation
The end of one, the beginning of the next.
What punishments the mind contrived are lost
The education in the guilt wears at the seams
The man set free from burdens of illogical debasement
Accepts within himself his very being.

Forced

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You have to go home
But the dog did not answer.
A wagging tail, a wriggling body, his youth his joy.
And this just when the writer was in doubt,
If this is Csaba utca why is the bus stop Maros?
And yet his worries were not heavily inclined.
He had a pen and paper, beer and table, and the girl.
An ink blot at a full stop and a pause did figure that this was his flow, but his contrived.

Copyright © Martin O'Regan
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